Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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