What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
