Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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