don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
