Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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