then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize