sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
