Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
