so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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