I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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