is your mom at the bar?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
