Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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