I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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