saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
