physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I can't put those talents on a resume
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
