i think my mom watched the whole time
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
