I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
