We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Who died my cat blue again?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
