I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
