hotel room ftw
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
