cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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