my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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