Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
