If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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