So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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