the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
