Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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