Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize