So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
