He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
