Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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