Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
