there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
