Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
