i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
