he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
