I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
