everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
