There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
