Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
