well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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