Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
