Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
