I wish I could punch you in the face.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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