Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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