got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
