from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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