As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
