Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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