he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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