I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
