She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
