booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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