Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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