Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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