I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
That accounts for only three of the penises
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
