i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
