you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
