So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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