Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
