I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
