I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
