on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
