Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm just crazy horny about you
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize