Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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